PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FAMILY DISCORD

Family With Adult Children Having Argument At Breakfast

Unless you were a laboratory experiment, you’re part of a family. Even if you were a lab experiment ( which I suspect several people I know are ) you probably acquired a family at some point. I heard a lesbian comedian say she had a new romantic acquaintance, and invited her new girlfriend to meet her family. Her new girlfriend responded by saying no, she already had one family that hated her.

Most people don’t get to choose who their family members are. Even when they do, it doesn’t always go well. Ask any second or third wife, or husband that are bitterly hated by their step children. I have an acquaintance that was one of those who bitterly disliked his Mom’s new husband, and went out his way to make it known. Many years have passed and he said he feels badly about the way he acted.

We have a large group of friends, like us, are in our later years. A lot of life has transpired, not all of it good. Many of us have lost wives or husbands to disease or accidents, some to just common divorces. We discuss our lives freely when we are together, and the same stories come up again and again, although the people are different. Family members can be the most obnoxious people in your lives. People you would never choose to be friends with, yet they remain your family and you have to endure their bad behavior. We met a woman this past weekend, that told us, because she is a Trump supporter, her brother recently told her he hopes she effing dies.

Religion and politics are major hand grenades in family relations. I have had first hand experience in both of these things. I am a free thinker, I hate group think, which, in my opinion, is basically what organized religion is. I have a strong testimony of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. The Holy Bible is quite clear on what God expects of you, and Jesus was quite clear in his teachings how you should interact with your fellow man. When churches begin inserting the doctrines of man into Bible teachings, and claiming they are the only true Church, I immediately begin to get very skeptical. Here’s the way I see it. Human beings are brand followers. Some people own Chevrolet autos their entire lives and wouldn’t dream of driving anything else, others Honda’s or whatever. You ask them why, they may answer, well my family always owned Chevy’s. No different with religion, if they are born into a particular church, it’s unlikely they will stray. They don’t know why, it’s just what our family has always done they will tell you. But holy crap, if one of those family members marries out of the church, the spouse of that family member is quite often the recipient of  major hatred. Brand loyalty is a form of selective blindness.

So, when you mix all of these things together, it becomes quite toxic. It is the perfect concoction to destroy even the strongest of families. A person is widowed, or divorced, finds another mate of different religion or lifestyle, begins a new life that doesn’t resemble their old life and the cracks start to appear.

This is the bottom line, it’s nobody’s business how you live your life. You are a free person. If the family doesn’t like your new lifestyle or your new mate, they can discuss it all they want among themselves, but if they can’t put on a happy face for you, they aren’t worthy of your love. The problem with most families is that they can’t discern support from criticism. Also, they have a problem putting the past behind them, and embracing the present.

If you have a large diverse family, that loves and appreciates one another for who they are, rather than who they want them to be, you are indeed blessed. If they adore one another whether they are blood kin or not, you are indeed blessed. If they accept each others choices in politics and religion, you are indeed blessed.

If you are a member of a family that has undergone changes such as the ones I described, and have a problem dealing with it, look in the mirror, you’re likely to be looking straight at the problem. Stop judging your family members and start loving them. If you can’t do that, and still profess to be a Christian, maybe you need to examine your relationship with your Savior.

By the way, the phrase Families Are Forever, doesn’t have any caveats. Like it or not.

 

VERITAS VINCIT   ~   LIVE FREE OR DIE

jesus with the children

 

 

 

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